April 18th, 2023
Dear Diary,
There outta be an air raid siren when one of these comes in….a letter from the Noonch [Nuncio… ed.]. I hate these! They are ALWAYS a ton of work. And usually for nothing. This is about a grumpy couple that wants to get married at one of our parishes, but claim they are being given the run around from the pastor and the deacons and parish staff. I gave it to the Chancellor of Vice. He’s usually good at the dirty work, but this time he handed it off to the Annoying Canon Law Undesirables down the hall! Now its a canon law problem!!! Last thing I need. Must get Vice to get after the ACLU for an answer asap. Vice better fix this soon. Gotta stay under the Nooch’s radar.
NOTE: Have Mrs. Kennedy draft a letter right away to the Nuncio to get him off my back… “Rest assured… doing all we can to help this couple…”
More about that couple who wanted a blessing instead of confession at the reconciliation service during Lent. Vice found their facebook page… as usual. He’s constantly on social media and snarling about “docksing”, whatever that is. Vice showed me their facebook. “The bishop blessed our marriage!” For crying out loud. Okay, the woman was wearing a white pantsuit. How was I to know? They had a friend taking photos with a phone so it looked like a “wedding”, never mind I had a purple stole on. They wrote, “See, guys? We didn’t need our previous marriages annulled after all! The bishop himself blessed our marriage!”
Well, once burned twice that other thing. These reconciliation nights at the cathedral are too unpredictable! Can’t have THAT happen again. Fr. Tommy said that it could have been avoided if we used the old box confessionals. Gotta admit he’s right. The cathedral has six of them. The janitors and plant ladies use them for storage. Old confessionals. That brings back memories. I know what would happen at the next meeting of the province. Jude would give me one of those knowing looks and Dozer would have a fit… which would make it worth it.
NOTE: Tell Vice to tell the rector to fix up those confessionals before Advent.
Loading ...
Sometimes…satire is probably truer to life than reality is.
I await the next installment. Shines a little levity into the day’s proceedings…
I’ve seen more than one old confessional used to house cleaning supplies & mops.
“it looked like a “wedding”, never mind I had a purple stole on. ”
For both the couple in question, and everyone around them, the colour of penance was probably more appropriate for their… urm… “marriage.” (Mirage?)
I’d say most appropriate, but I’m sure the backroom in the Chancery basement has a black stole folded up in a box somewhere.
Unfortunately, most churches have torn out their confessional boxes in the wake of liturgical remodeling, when the old main altars were also ripped out. I will never understand how we got it so wrong on this, that people coming to confession might prefer privacy and anonymity.
During Covid, My Son stopped by a church to go to confession. He was kneeling outside the confessionals for awhile. Finally the Novus Ordo Priest came over and said, “We don’t use the confessionals, I have 2 chairs up next to the Altar.”
My Son asked why? Priest said, “Well we would have to clean and sanitize the confessional after every person.” My Son told the Priest, I will clean it.
At that point Priest mumbled a few things and told him no. He ended up next to the Altar. I told him I would have done the same. When it comes to Confession..Any port in a storm.
“Plant ladies” – ok now THAT one made me literally laugh out loud. Thank you, Fr. Z for the chuckle.