From a priest:
Reverend and Dear Father,
Ash Wednesday is soon to be upon us, and I am faced with the situation I am often faced with: whether to impose ashes on cute, angel-faced infants.
It never fails that, as the faithful come up for ashes, they bring children.
I don’t see the purpose of imposing ashes on babies, who are unaware of not only sin, but what the ashes represent (as well as what the formula spoken means).
I know, if I don’t impose ashes on them, I’ll get bad looks from both sides of the ecclesiological spectrum.
Is there a reason I can cling to why babies should receive ashes?
I hope a few priests will jump in with their experience and thoughts on this matter.
Father, you are right that, looking at it with the cold eyes of reason, there is little point to imposing ashes on an infant. Sure there is the cuteness factor. More importantly, you will avoid the ridiculous discussions you will have to endure if you don’t put ashes on the precious bundle of joy. Inevitably someone will be upset that little Stupor Mundi didn’t get the ashes, especially because we live in an age when everyone has to “get theirs”, and in particular if it’s free. No reason will be involved in these discussions, by the way. You’ll have to deal with emotions, usually “mom’s”, and you cannot win on that field. So, Father, unless you have lots of time and patience, just put the ashes on the kids.
On the other hand, our Catholic identity is rooted in more than what we grasp from the light of reason. Deep memories and emotions, implanted impressions, also play their role. I have some really early memories. You just never know what ineffable memory might be planted! Seriously.
It seems to me that if it is obvious that mommy or daddy want Precious Darling™ to have ashes, then go with that. Put the ashes on the kid and move on (I am assuming that you are moving along the altar rail where people are kneeling like the good Catholics they ought to be).
Oh… right… Charlotte… sorry, it just came out. I didn’t mean…. Sorry.
If you are not sure if mommy or daddy expects Her Cuteness™ to get smeared with the gritty burnt vegetable remains which could get her wittle eyes, then ask about it. You could ask something like, “Do you want some of this harsh and gritty burnt vegetable ash near her sensitive eyes or not?”
On second thought, how about, “And your child?”
I would advise, that if the ashes are put on a bit thick on the child’s forehead that you watch carefully that you not get any in the child’s eyes. After that you can, if the image isn’t a bit ironic, wash your hands of the matter…. which come to think of it you’ll be doing before Mass continues. I digress. Just don’t you get ashes in the child’s eyes. The parent’s eyes, on the other hand….
“But Father! But Father!”, I can hear some people shouting. “Clearly you think ashes shouldn’t be put on babies. How old is old enough for the ashes? Do we have to wait for 1st Holy Communion? Is it that you hate babies? THAT’s it, isn’t it. AND… YOU HATE VATICAN II!”
First, I didn’t say babies should not be given ashes. Read again what I said above about deep memories. I wasn’t kidding about that. I am not being merely pragmatic. However, I would add that if little Stupor Mundi is old enough to say “sorry” to Jesus before beddy-bye, she is also old enough to start learning about penance and self-denial and what the ashes stand for: We are dust and unto dust we shall return.
Hmmm… now that I think of it, if a parent has to look at the smudge on baby’s head and think about death, that could be a good thing.
Reverend and Dear Father, since this is a sacramental, and not a sacrament, I think we can have some leeway. And before anyone brings it up by shouting “But Father!” …. AGAIN… this is not quite like the “blessing for babies at Communion time” issue: that moment is for Communion, not blessings. Dealing with the fallout (get that “ash” image? heh?) might be the same, they are not the same problem.
Finally, Father, if you are going to make the decision not to put ashes on babies, may I recommend making a good confession before your first Ash Wednesday Mass?
If you survive, let us know how it went.
Priests. Chime in.
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I think the memories of children are often deep – deeper than we give credit, even if the warp and weft of life often erases many of those memories as we age. Children under the age of 7 might not be capable of mortal sin, but this annual reminder of sin and our mortality is not beyond the grasp of most children. Ideally parents catechize their children into what this means.
I would say that, especially for children under the age of 7, the statement, “Remember thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return” makes more sense than “turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel,” as they have no personal sin from which to turn away.
I happily impose ashes.
I don’t think there is a problem with giving sacramentals to infants and children below the age of reason. Blessed ashes, palms, Rosaries, and Miraculous Medals are good reminders of the faith and part of the fabric of the Catholic life.
And I wouldn’t know where to draw a line in the sand. How young is too young? Two years old? Three? Four?
Imposing ashes is not just a yes / no question. There’s a statement to be made in the manner of imposing. For clerics, the old rite called for a cross of ashes imposed across the tonsure, not the forehead, which can lead to a good discussion when someone asks, “Father, where are your ashes?” My rambunctious high school students knew they would get a large black cross from me if they came in my line – an efficacious sacramental sign, one can only hope. And for the cute sleeping infant, the tiniest dot on the forehead ought to be enough to accomplish, as you said well, the reminder to the parents that we shall all return to dust.
Even if the baby doesn’t understand, we remember that sacramentals still give grace.
I’m a parent, and want my kids to get ashes regardless of age. Ezekiel 16 explains it well, we are all helpless before God and in need of His assistance even if original sin has been washed away. They still carry the effects of sin that penance aims to combat.
Sacramentals give grace ex opero operantis, not just to the person who is wearing or using them, but also to those for whom their use can be a channel of grace. We can be a bit too clinical and textbook sometimes.
Marking the kiddo isn’t going to do much to remind him of his redemption and death. Yes, somehow some grace may get in, but it’s not a Sacrament, so there’s more to the transmission of grace than the work itself.
But, where it may be of service is to remind the 50-year-old kiddo holding kiddo junior that this child has been redeemed, will die one day, and will stand before Christ who redeemed said kiddo as his Judge.
Elder kiddo, having a grave duty to make sure kiddo junior is properly trained in virtue and to avoid sin, perhaps he will thereby be reminded that the elder’s Judgement will cover what he did or did not do for his child.
That kiddo, cute as he may be, has a wounded nature, and could lose his soul once reason sets in, as it most likely will. So, perhaps the graces aren’t for kiddo junior, but a salutary kick in the rear for kiddo senior.